I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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