To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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