it wasn't lemon gatorade
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
