I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
