I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
