I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
