My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
