I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I party with great urgency now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
