Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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