i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize