Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
