Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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