I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
