umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
