I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
