The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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