It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
