he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
