Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
