I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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