This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
