it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
