no, he came in my armpit
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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