so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
