I'm drive I can fine osifer
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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