Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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