My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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