I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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