I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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