I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My feet surprised me
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
