don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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