Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
