i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
