She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
