Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
