it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
