How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
