I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
