This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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