i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
