no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
