You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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