The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
