I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
