I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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