when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
