He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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