he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
