wat bout pragnant strippers??
So many bounce houses so little time
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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