1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
